The hidden reality of black women is that they often have to carry the weight of the emotional labor of their family while still smiling, always available, always strong, while quietly crumbling inside.
This and many more are often referred to as the “Strong Black Woman”. This role comes with immense pressure: work harder, take on extra responsibilities, suppress feelings, and never admit weakness. What initially helps us survive eventually starts to hurt us.
In this post, we’ll explore:
Let’s dive in…
In 1983, sociologist Arlie Hochschild coined the term “emotional labor” to describe the management of feelings and expressions at work. Instead of the focus being on what you do, it’s on what you feel or don’t feel when interacting professionally. For Black women, emotional labor often extends beyond job roles into family, community, and even public life, where we are expected to educate, protect, empathize, and carry burdens that aren’t ours alone.
This labor becomes extra-heavy when layered with racism, sexism, and expectations to “always be strong.”
The Superwoman Schema
Dr. Cheryl Woods-Giscombé introduced the Superwoman Schema (SWS) as a pattern many Black women internalize. Key traits include:
Though these traits helped generations survive oppression, today they harm health and well-being.
Let’s break down the human cost:
A study examining Black women’s stress showed that persistent exposure to racial discrimination alongside emotional suppression leads to allostatic load wear and tear on the body that increases the risk of heart disease, diabetes, and early death.
Research finds that Black women who strongly identify with the Superwoman role report higher levels of depression symptoms, especially when facing financial strain.
A Clinicians of Color article notes Black women often carry excess emotional labor in personal and professional settings, leaving little room for self-care.
From teachers to nurses to social workers, Black women routinely fill emotional labor roles without acknowledgment or compensation.
For example:
A study of Black women professionals teaching in predominantly white spaces found that they are often silencing their feelings to avoid appearing “angry Black women”.
These aren’t isolated incidents; they’re patterns showing a cultural expectation for Black women to absorb burdens without complaint.
Often, these women don’t even know that they are carrying too much.
Here are common signs of emotional overload:
If any of this resonates, you’re not alone, and it’s not okay to ignore it.
Awareness is the first step. Acknowledge that emotional labor is real and not your fault. You didn’t create these burdens; you’ve just been carrying them.
Whether in therapy, writing, or prayer, giving voice to your feelings is crucial. Therapy for Black women is an option. Safe spaces include therapy with JMore Counseling and Consulting.
Strength includes weakness. It’s in holding space for pain and asking for help. There’s no need to shy away from it and embrace the full range of human emotion.
You deserve rest, too. Schedule time to care for yourself. Whether it is taking a day off to rest or booking a spa session, or going swimming with the girls. Do something that makes you feel good. It goes a long way. Self-care can also be in the form of delegating emotional tasks at home or work.
We’re Here For You: JMore’s Support
At JMore Counseling and Consulting, we know you’ve been strong for a reason, and strong enough doesn’t mean you must go on alone. Your experience matters. Whether you need space to vent, clarity to set boundaries, or healing to rebuild a life free from invisible burdens, we’re here.
Your strength is real. But strength doesn’t have to look like endless fortitude. It can and should include rest, vulnerability, and balance. You are not alone, and you deserve space to heal.
Reach out today to schedule your first session at JMore Counseling and Consulting.
